☺ Overheard at Restaurant D'Ordre

*A CIA Director, a regenerative medical specialist, a Rabbi, and Abraham Lincoln walk into an exclusive restaurant*

maître d' (pen poised above reservations book) : Good evening. Reservations for?

CIA Director: Tau Phi, Lamda Sigma, and Theta Eta...

maître d' (clearly impressed) : Yes of course! Please follow Tutankhamen to your table.

*the four start forward, but the maître d' holds a hand out blocking Abraham Lincoln*

maître d' : Excuse me sir, you are not on the list.

Lincoln (shocked) : What do you mean? I'm Abraham Lincoln. Put me on the list.

maître d' : I'm very sorry, but that's not how it works.

Lincoln (standing tall) : Do you not recognize me, sir?

maître d' : Um, 'fraid not. *turning to bartender* Osiris, do you know this gentleman?

bartender (midwest accent) : no speak english. And my name's Joel.

Lincoln (growing red) : Well, I never. My face is on Mount Rushmore, for goodness sake!

*Mark Twain enters arm in arm with Marilyn Monroe*

maître d' : Ah! Mu Tau and Mu Mu, welcome, welcome.

Lincoln (aghast) : Mu Tau, Mu Mu? Who are they?

maître d' : I'm not really sure who the old geezer is, but Ms. Monroe was the first Playboy centerfold.

Lincoln : Nevermind. Listen, my picture is on the five dollar bill, for goodness sake!

maître d' (unimpressed) : If you had said the one dollar bill, maybe. It has our Pyramid on the back you know.

Lincoln : Pyramid? What is this nonsense? Forget it, just put me down as Delta ...

maître d' (finally interested) : Yes?

Lincoln : Um, ... Delta ...

maître d' (raising pen) : and?

Lincoln (shrugs) : Delta?

maître d' (disappointed) : Sorry, the Tri-Delt Sorority table is already occupied.

*Soriety girls wave and giggle from nearby booth*

Lincoln : Okay, how about Alpha Lamda?

maître d' : Really sir, now you're just guessing.

*Anna Nicole Smith enters, looking a bit flustered*

Lincoln (apologetic) : Anna, this insolent character will not seat me, my dear. We will have to go somewhere else.

Anna Nicole (pouty) : Oh Abe, are you sure? *turns to maître d'*

maître d' (surprised, to Lincoln) : Wait! You are with Ms. Smith? Well, why didn't you say so?

Anna Nicole (smiles) : He's not made of money, but money's made of him!

Lincoln (kissing Anna's cheek) : Dear Anna, so clever.

Anna Nicole (blushes) : I just love older men, so attentive.

maître d' : Tutankhamen, the Chi Chi Chi reservation has arrived. Hurry please!

maître d' : Mr. Lincoln, my apologies. I loved you on the penny, by the way. Would you prefer a booth or a table?

Lincoln (sighs, then winking) : Table of course. I'm not partial to Booths.

maître d' (doesn't get it) : Hahaha! Indeed. ... Tutankhamen!

Lincoln (to waiter) : Tutankhamen, now that's an unusual name.

Waiter (confidentially) : Actually, that's just what they call me here. My real name's Nathan.

~ QtheC