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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Aunt Alex

Alex Is...

I saw Bree's video and Daniel and I got the hell out of there. It's all kind of a blur and I found out some crazy info I can't even process right now - Jonas

Happy Saint Patricks Day from LG15 TODAY!

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Miles Beckett interview

Friday January 26, 2007


"New website where fans will be able to upload video and have more control over the plot and direction of the show "



From: DLD-conference:

Miles founded the internet production company, SHOUTBOY, where he created and distributed the video podcast, West Wingers."


"I'm a WHATmaster?"

"I'm a WHATmaster?" The Lonelygirl15 Creators Appear at ARGfest-o-Con to Tell Us Why They Love Their Fans in Spite of Themselves


Lonelygirl15 Tops Forbes Web Celeb 25 List


Today on LG15

Today on LG15 fans saw Bree reach the same conclusions that they had.

"Bad news, guys. You've gotta get out of there. I don't know if you noticed this or not, so, I'm gonna show you."
(cut to frame of previous Jonas video, Uncle Dan, showing framed picture of two women who look like Lucy and Alex)
"Isn't that Lucy in the picture?"

Bree also had some more bad news,

"Also, Tachyon thinks that scrapbook could mean something else. She thinks that Alex might have had something to do with those disappearances. She suspects that Alex might have been a part of the resistance at some point, but then betrayed them."

Jonas isn't going to be too happy about that allegation, especially coming from the girl who tied him to a chair!

"Daniel, whatever you do, just stop flirting with this woman. Don't go out on any dates with her, and look, I'm sorry, I know that you like her, but...this is serious."

What is it with Daniel's love life? He falls for the home-schooled girl and ends up on the run, he goes after a "random girl" he met in a bowling alley and gets kidnapped by ice cream eating cowboys, he falls for an older woman and it turns out that she's probably part of the order. Maybe he should try speed dating....

"I know this is a lot to process. I'm gonna get my stuff and go, even if it does piss off Tachyon. I know that you guys will do what's best. I'm gonna pack my stuff today and leave and meet up with you guys. Good luck, and be safe."

So how are the boys going to react to this vlog and Bree when she arrives? Jonas won't be happy that she's accused his aunt of being part of the order and Daniel definately wont be happy that he'll have to turn down Alex's offer of doing some private spin art. Stay tuned...

Friday, March 16, 2007

☺ An Unwelcome Caller

4am after the party, at Alex's house

*ringgg ringgggggg ringgg ringgggggg*

Daniel *answers phone, very groggy* : Uhhhh, hello?

Carl (on phone, loudly and rapidly) : Hello, hello, hello, is this Daniel?

Daniel: huh?

Carl: Daniel. From the party right? Daniel, can I ask you a question? Daniel?

Daniel: Wha? It's like 4am, who is this?

Carl: It's fine, it's fine. It's okay, it's fine. It's...

Daniel: Who is this?

Carl: It's fine, don't worry, this is Carl, do you want to talk, Daniel? Do you? Do you? It's fine.

Daniel: Dude, what the hell? Don't call here....

Carl: No Daniel! It's okay! It's fine, it's fine, it's...

Daniel (hangs up phone) : Drugs.

4:17am, at Alex's house

*ringggg ringgggg ringggg ringgggg*

Alex (answers the phone, angry) : Yeah?

Carl (pretend female voice) : Is Danielbeast there?

Alex : Carl, I know this is you. Do not call back.

Carl (returns to normal over-caffeinated voice) : Wait! It's fine, It's...

Alex (hangs up phone, reaching across Daniel in bed) : I hate that guy.

Daniel (drunk, kisses Alex's cheek) : Call me Uncle.

4:20am, at Sonya's apartment

Carl (sighs, hangs up phone) : Damn. Stupid steak-knives.

Sonya : What's wrong Carl, no sale?

Carl (drinks long swig of Jolt cola) : I'm just not cut out for telemarketing.

Sonya : It's okay, I'm sure my relatives will buy another set...

~ QtheC


Is that Lucy!?!?! You guys need to get out of there! - Bree

Headboard Reunion 2K5

Headboard Reunion 2K5
Originally uploaded by headboard.
Glenn Rubenstein with his band Headboard in 2005.

Shake Up at OpAphid

Shake Up at OpAphid

Greg Goodfried discloses that the ARG is going to be central to the LonelyGirl15 story.

Lonelygirl15: The Story Behind the Story

powered by ODEO

Wired magazine Contributing Editor Joshua Davis and Senior Editor Mark Robinson talk about the making of a breakout web video phenomenon.

Today on LG15

Today on LG15 fans saw the party from Daniel's perspective. The video description read "The party the other night was soooo fun... but I thought Jonas's video was kinda... ummm... biased. I filmed a bunch of stuff that he edited out. Anyways, it's kinda random but hope you like it."

However the party really didn't seem to improve from what fans could see...maybe Daniel was being slightly biased himself? He would have had a good time watching paint dry if Alex was with him...

Daniel: I'm going to try and mingle, I'm gonna talk to these people, see what they're all doing, let's go.
(Daniel films some of the people in the room.)
Daniel: So you're uh... are you a rock star? Are you like a musician?
Musician: If you don't recognize me... But seriously, you don't know my stuff... (He shoos Daniel away.)
Daniel: I'm sorry, dude, all right. Well, cheers.

There had been some questions as to where Toby had met Daniel, (in the previous vlog when Jonas introduced him to Daniel Toby said "we've met" leading to speculation as to whether Toby was refering to meeting at the party or somewhere else.) It turned out the phrase was perfectly innocent as Toby had indeed just met Daniel at the party,

Toby: Hey Daniel.
Daniel: Hey, what's up? You're... you're...
Toby: I'm Toby.
Daniel: Toby. You're Jonas' cousin?
Toby: Yeah.
Daniel: Are you serious?
Toby: Yeah, you know, I haven't seen him since the funeral so, I just...
Daniel: Dude, you should talk to him!
Toby: Okay.
Daniel: You should.

Jonas continued to have a difficult time....

Jonas: (referring to Damien, who is wearing his jacket) He stole my jacket. I don't know what to do.
Damien: Well you can have it back if you want.
Jonas: Well, yeah. (Damien hands Jonas his jacket, but doesn't let go.)
Damien: You want it? It's like a tug of war, come on!

.... and Jonas's admirer clearly couldnt take a hint, although Daniel didn't help much!

Damien: So what are you doing here?
Jonas: Uhhh... nothing, really. Probably just going to leave...
Damien: Really? With who? (He nibbles suggestively on a cucumber (or something).)
Jonas: My friend... (Jonas attempts to escape.)
Daniel: No, Jonas, we can hang out for a bit.
Damien: (to Jonas) You smell nice.
Daniel: He's very stiff like that.
Jonas: Thank you, I really appreciate that.
Alex: Okay, that's enough.
Damien: I've had a little too much to drink! No, it's fun. You look, you look fabulous.
Alex: I know, honey.
Damien: Hey, what are you two up to? (He sort of growls at Alex)
Daniel: (micheviously, to Damien) Hey, where'd Jonas go?
Damien: That's a good question! Hey, I'll see you in a minute. (He leaves in search of Jonas.)

Daniel then managed to pick up a comment from one of the party guests that could be very important...

Carl: --party, so you could talk to Alex, so you could get in her nephew's file?

Daniel interupted whatever these two were talking about and recieved mixed feedback from them...

Daniel: Hey, what's up?
Sonya: (She notices Daniel.) Oh, hi! Hi, do you remember me? I'm, I'm Sonya, I'm Alex's friend. (She looks at Carl.) What? (She looks back at Daniel.) I've been wanting to talk to you, Andrea's told me so much about you.
Daniel: Yeah, I don't know what to do, I don't know anybody here.
Carl: So what's, what's your name?
Daniel: Daniel.
Carl: Daniel? Hey, I got a question, Dan.
Daniel: What's up, dude?
Carl: Do you, do you have a girlfriend or anything?
Daniel: Uhh...
Carl: I mean, can I go, can I go interrupt you talking to your girlfriend?
Daniel: What? Are you serious?
Sonya: Oh, don't worry about that!
Carl: We were just talking and...
Daniel: All right, all right.
Carl: No, no, no, no, it's cool. Just let me know someday when you have a girlfriend, I'll come up and talk to you, all right?
(The camera cuts away to a shot of Jonas, standing in a corner with a wine glass.)
Daniel: Dude, this sucks. Take the camera, everybody freakin' hates me.

What was Carl talking about? "So you could get into her nephew's file" Does Jonas have a file? If so, who's written it? Stay tuned.....

Lonelygirl15 beat NBC earlier this week on YouTube views!

Lonelygirl15 beat NBC earlier this week on YouTube views! You can see the daily analysis at:


Thursday, March 15, 2007

Uncle Dan (D-Bone Remix)

The party the other night was soooo fun... but I thought Jonas's video was kinda... ummm... biased. I filmed a bunch of stuff that he edited out. Anyways, it's kinda random but hope you like it.


Its short, but it says it all!!!!

Who is Mandorla?

From: [email protected]

"I am called Mandorla. It is my duty to communicate on behalf of the Foundation to our members.

The Foundation was established to work against another operative group with evil and power hungry intentions. We call that rival organization the Order. "

Why Does Lucy Always Wear Sunglasses?

Check out the new cast!!!!

Yousef Abu-Taleb
Jackson Davis
Sale Cecere
Charlie North
Bitsie Tulloch
Burke Stuart
Angela Harp
Taylor Treadwell
Jason Lopez
Craig Coyne

Youll never see me fall from grace.


Glenn Rubenstein....video game analyst?

How time flies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Today on LG15

Today on LG15 fans saw Jonas, Daniel and Alex go to a party. Not exactly an exciting party though. In fact the whole event could be described as.... strange.

Daniel: So... uh... Jonas and I are at our very first fashion industry party. But it's weird... I dunno. They have a full bar kind of thing. But, I'm really not trying to drink anymore, 'cause of the whole... you know? (He turns to Jonas) I dunno man, what do you think?
Jonas: (raises a glass of wine) Eh...
Daniel: Uh... yeah.

The boys were clearly uncomfortable about being there and the guest were clearly uncomfortable about the boys.

(Camera pans to a man talking with thick dark blonde hair. Pan back to Jonas who appears to be staring at the man before looking at the camera. Pan to David, whispering in the ear of another woman before she rolls her eyes. He glances in another direction. Pan to Jonas who mouths help.)

There was then an argument between Alex and a man called David who clearly thought he was meant to be her date.

David: (Raised voice) I don't know why I'm invited here. He's 19 years old for Christ sake!
Alex: Will you keep it down maybe?
Alex: You know what, I... I--
(Throws wine in David's face and walks away)
Daniel: Are you ok?...Hey.
Daniel: Dude, this sucks. Take the camera, everybody freakin' hates me.

Poor Daniel then took a page out of his parents book for dealing with uncomfortable situations and started drinking. At the same time an aquatence of Jonas's approached.

Toby: It's good to see you.
Jonas: Yeah, you too. This is Toby. Toby, Daniel.
Toby: We've met.
Beth: Jonas, I'm Beth. Pleasure to meet you.
Toby: Oh! Actually, she's a reporter.
Jonas: Well it's nice to meet you, Beth.
Beth: It's nice to meet you too.
Daniel: I'll be back. (He walks over to Alex.)
Jonas: I saw this girl, she was posting videos, and my heart kinda went out to them. It's a long story. It's complicated.
Toby: Look, I'm gonna let you catch up with everybody. Really good to see you.
Jonas: Yeah. You too, man.

OK so Jonas has told a reporter about Bree, smart move? Probably not. And where has Toby met Daniel? At the party or somewhere else? (*Cue ominous music*)

Jonas could then only sit back and try not to be sick as Daniel and Alex started to get along famously.

Jonas: Dude, I'm really annoyed right now. He's totally hitting on my aunt. (The camera cuts away to Daniel and Alex, talking, dancing, and flirting.) I know they're just friends and all, but... that's my aunt, man, it's family! It's weird. And if they start hooking up it's going to be weird around the house. (The camera cuts back to Jonas.) And she's kinda like that too, actually. I was using her computer and she left this page open, it was some dating website. It said that she was into younger guys. I think I'm going to throw up.

Not that Jonas wasn't getting attention himself..

Carla: You're nineteen... So I'm going to give you my room key, I've got two room keys, and I don't want you to tell your aunt...

During this time a party guest said something that also sounded ominous...

Will: Hey Jonas, some guy is here looking for you.

Who was looking for Jonas?
Poor Danielbeast was now worse for wear and Jonas decided to get him home.

Jonas: Hey! Daniel! Ummm... I think we need to go.
Daniel: No, I'm good.
Alex: Why?
Jonas: I think, no, uh... none of that, please.
Alex: You don't need to go, why do you...
Jonas: Yeah... (He slaps Daniel on the face, gently.)

There was a confrontation with another guest.

Carl: Hey, hey, hey, what's up man? You all right?
Daniel: Yeah.
Carl: Okay, good.
Daniel: You alright?
Carl: Yeah, I'm great, I was just wondering, ummm... (the camera cuts away for a moment.)
Jonas: Bro, I think you've got some issues.
Carl: No, man, it's just--
(The camera cuts to Alex's face.)
Alex: All right, enough, enough.
Carl: Is that cool-
Jonas: No dude, listen to me.
Daniel: No, no, no-
Carl: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
Alex: You guys should just go. Just go.
Daniel: What are you talking about?
Carl: Do you want to talk about something?
Alex: Jonas, I'll talk to you later!
Carl: Lets talk,no it's cool, it's cool.
Alex: (yelling) All right, enough, that's my nephew!
Jonas: Chill.
Daniel: We're leaving.
Jonas: Just chill.
Carl: Hey Daniel, it was good meeting you, though. Hey, hey Daniel, keep in touch alright.

So...did Carl want to punch Daniel or get him alone for pizza and ice cream?
Outside in the sober evening air the boys waited for a taxi.
Daniel was not making things easy for Jonas.

Daniel: You know, you know what’d be really cool? If things work out between her and me...
Jonas: Daniel... Daniel.
Daniel: Just, just let me finish! (looks at camera) If things worked out, I would be this fine young gentleman’s uncle.
Jonas: Oh my God, man. Get off my shoulder. If you hook up with my aunt, I will bury both of you.
Daniel: Think about it, think about it. It would be fun.

Uncle Beast? Poor Jonas...

Jonas: Dan... Daniel. I’m going to ask you something. Did you... did you make out with my aunt? Did you? Because that’s crossing the line.
Daniel: Oh look, there... there’s the cab.
Jonas: Daniel… Daniel. Look at me. Look! Daniel, right here! Daniel!
Daniel: (looking away) Yeah?
Jonas: Dude, did you? ‘Cause if you did...
Daniel: Did... what?
Jonas: I hate you.

So was that party more than it seemed? Some eagle eyed fans saw a picture in the house that looked a bit like Lucy. Stay tuned....

We're 100!

Congratulations LG15 Today for reaching 100 posts! Lets keep going!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Uncle Dan

We went to a party with Alex. I wasn't feeling very social, and Daniel was flirting a lot with my Aunt... not cool man! -Jonas

Dorkiness Prevails


ARGFest 2007 - Panel III ~ Running an ARG 2

SXSW - LonelyGirl15 discussion


Who is Glenn Rubenstein and What Time is it?


The Remarkable Speed of Lonelygirl15

Miles and Greg make comments on MEEP and FIRST.


Is there a real Order?


Today on LG15

Today on LG15 fans saw Daniel getting to know Aunt Alex.

Daniel: So Jonas's aunt, Alexandra, has.....

Alex: No it's Alex, Alexandra is too formal.

Daniel: Alex. Jonas's aunt, Alex, has asked me to help her do a marketing video explaining what she does in the fashion industry.

Alex then revealed something that may prove a problem if she is to star in a vlog based show;

Alex: I, um, whenever I do these things and I see my self on camera...I look ridiculous. And I hate my voice.

You better get used to it Alex!

Daniel: So tell us about a typical day in the life of Alex! "Fancy schmansy" Fashion Designer Alex.

Alex: I get up insanely early, go to my favorite coffee place, and order a "Depth Charge" which is an espresso and a big black coffee, and I usually finish drinking it before I get to my car. I get to work around, I dunno, 8:00. Wait for my hands to stop shaking and spend the rest of my day at the computer.

Sounds like a day in the life of an LG15 Today blogger!!!

Daniel then managed to drop himself in it again, no wonder he keeps getting picked up by pin-bowling cowboys...

Alex: I mean I still choose fabrics and select patterns, but I do all of my designing on the computer.

Daniel: (Fakes snore)

Alex: What? Like your life's so interesting.

Daniel: Well actually, we're on the run from.....

Alex: What?

Daniel: Nothing.

Alex: No, seriously. You're on the run from what?

Daniel: Uhhhh, the Order. It's complicated. Just whatever. Never mind.

Jonas then arrived to break up the happy scene (well "scenery" from Daniels point of view)

Daniel: (Softly) Player hater.

Jonas: Hm-hm. (Laughs)

Danielbeast thinks of himself as a player eh? Oh dear....

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

On The Hot Seat

Mixed Media with Miles and Greg - Week 2

EDIT: Sorry everyone, we will not be able to do the show tonight. We will be back next week with Yousef and Tim. As always, thank you so much for your understanding. It has been a long and difficult day, but we are trying to perservere.



The show is on tonight from 6-8 pm PST at nowlive.com.

Guests will be Yousef Abu-Taleb and Tim Street from French Maid TV (frenchmaidtv.com)

Please listen, chat, and call-in ...


☺ Lack of Nude Photos on Internet blamed for Scandal

An anonymous internet guru, aka GamemasterXXX, was overheard in the secure privacy of an internet chatroom, expressing this revealing insight into his questionable online activities...

Hey, it's not easy for a guy like me, with a perfectly normal appetite for viewing nude pictures of adult women online. Quite simply, I've seen all the internet has to offer, and it's not enough. So, can you really blame me for getting a little creative, making up puzzles and characters in order to lure gullible online ladies to email me their nude photos? Hell, most of them are probably aging men pretending to be young woman anyway. It's not fair. Talk about dishonest.

I feel misunderstood. If you do sympathize with my plight, you can reach me at (contact information deleted by editor).

Ed: LG15 Today and the LG15 Today staff in no way endorse solicitation of nude photos online, on street corners, or even in the privacy of your own home. In fact, we would prefer it if everyone kept their clothing on at all times, except when absolutely necessary for hygenic or medical reasons. Nor do we like cheating at games.

~ QtheC

ARG Discussion

Serious allegations have been made about the ARG.

An Open Letter to All Involved with LG15 and OpAphid:


In response to these allegations the Creators posted:

Tue Mar 13, 2007 11:52 am


☺ Tachyon Camp Martial Arts Instructor

Despite our most diligent efforts to report accurately, LG15 Today fans, we sometimes get it wrong. It turns out that Lynda Carter is not playing Aunt Alex as previously reported. However, to make up for it, we do have this exclusive photo of a Martial Arts Instructor from the Tachyon Training Camp!

The question now is, who is that Woman? I Wonder.

~ QtheC

Today on LG15

Today on LG15 fans saw Bree in training. OK so there was no actual footage of Bree's new kung-fu moves, but she let us know that Tachyon was teaching her how to be tough.

"Basically, I've been staying here for a few days and she's teaching me "how to be a badass." She started running me through some general conditioning. I'm not as good at it as she is, but...I'm getting better. To be honest with you this whole...ninja thing, I just don't think I'm cut out for it, you know? But don't tell Tachyon. (whispering) She'd be mad."

There was also a welcome return by a certain special guest star.

"So, I brought along an old friend. (Bree turns the camera to show that she is holding Purple Monkey.) I haven't really had much time to hang out with him lately, so, yeah. And to be honest, I think I'm a little old to be playing with stuffed toys. Sad but true. But, I'm bored, so, what are you gonna do?"

Oh no! Are Owen, Thor and P.monkey on their way to the unemployment line?

After a bit more merriment from a rather over excited Bree, she was able to calm herself down for long enough to refer to what Jonas had found in the office.

"I told Tachyon about what you found in your aunt's office. She told me something pretty interesting. I guess a few years back, there was an uprising against the Order, and a lot of people that were on the inside and some from the outside rebelled against it. The Order fought back and eventually crushed it. That's what all those mysterious deaths were about. I don't know if you find that useful, but I found it interesting."

Is the long awaited Bree V Gemma kick down around the corner? How is Aunt Alex coping with the eager Daniel? If she tells him she's not interested will he storm off to the nearest bowling alley again? Stay tuned...

Monday, March 12, 2007

MySpace Blocks Revver?

For those of you that have been having a problem embedding the Revver videos into your MySpace....here is the 411:

MySpace Blocks Revver?

Training Hard

Bitsie Tulloch (Aunt Alex)

Bitsie Tulloch on Wikipedia:


Bitsie Tulloch on IMDB

Today on LG15

Today on LG15 fans were delighted to see the arrival Aunt Alex. (QtheC was especially pleased...see the article below!)

On their way to the airport Jonas and Daniel revealed that Bree had taken a strop...I mean gone to stay with Tachyon.

Jonas: It was really innocent, she way overreacted, but I said, uh, this thing that my mom used to tell me. She would say, Jonas, would you rather, uh, be dumber than you look or look dumber than you are? And I would say, well, I'd rather look dumber than I am. And she'd say, are you sure that's possible? (Daniel laughs.) See, innocent.

Daniel: Well, let's put it like this (Daniel turns the camera towards himself.). He said that to Bree. Bree, like as in the brain child, Bree. (in a high pitched voice) I'm-so-smart Bree. (normally) Yeah, Bree. Bree. It was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. Within two hours she was all packed up and ready for Tachyon to pick her up.

Also it seems Jonas is a bit worried about how Aunt Alex is going to react to his breaking and entering.

Jonas: Oh, listen, uh, before we pick up my aunt, uh...I don't know how kosher she's gonna be with the whole B&E I pulled in her office thing today.

Daniel: Are you serious?

Jonas: Yeah....

Daniel: Now he tells us.

Jonas: It'll be fine. It's--I'm pretty sure.

Daniel: You sure? Then why'd you replace the lock? (laughs)

As for Danielbeast, there was only one thing on his mind and Jonas had to pour cold water on him. (Not literally of course but you could tell the beast was excited..)

Daniel: She's divorced, right? Did she ever like, re-marry?

Jonas: Daniel, Daniel.

Daniel: What, dude?

Jonas: Listen to me.

Daniel: I'm not saying anything.

Jonas: Listen to me, do not hit--

Daniel: I'm not saying--All I'm saying is--

Jonas: Do not hit on my aunt. If you hit on my aunt, I will go Bree on you.

Anyway despite all the testosterone the boys made it to the airport to pick up "hot" Aunt Alex. Alex was a bit suprised to be filmed..doesnt she know this is an internet drama?

Jonas: Say hi to the camera.

Alex: Hi.

Daniel: Yeah, so I don't know. Maybe, maybe tell us a little something about Rome.

Alex: Is he serious?

Jonas: Mmhmm, but just ignore him.

Daniel then showed just how good he is at picking up at women (i.e not very)

Daniel: Well, I'm just wondering.

Jonas: Daniel, you wanna walk?

Alex: I...

Jonas: Do you want to walk?

Alex: ...don't have time for a boyfriend.

Daniel: You don't have time for a boyfriend?

Alex: No... sorry.

Jonas: Just take it easy.

Daniel: I'm being nice.

Jonas: Play it cool.

Alex: It's ok.

Daniel: I'm totally cool, ask her. I'm cool right? (Alex nods.) See, she thinks I'm cool. (Jonas shakes his head.)

Poor Alex. I'm not sure what she should be more worried about, the Order or Daniel cooking her a little chicken stuffed with pine nuts...

☺ Aunt Alex Actress Identified!

With the release of the debut of the new lonelygirl15 "Aunt Alex" yesterday, there has been a flurry of searching for photos of the actress who plays the part. After a few miscues, misidentifications, and updates to the new Aunt Alex LGPEDIA page, the viewership settled upon Bitsie Tulloch as the one true Aunt Alex. Ms. Tulloch is beautiful, smart, and talented, and has an interesting background in photography, or as they call it at Harvard where she went to school, "Visual & Environmental Studies."

But none of that matters, because LG15 Today has the exclusive real scoop. As can be seen by the incontrovertable evidence of these side by side photos, the role of "Aunt Alex" is being played by none other than Lynda Carter, also known as TV's Wonder Woman.

And may we say, Lynda, welcome to the breeniverse... You look fantastic!

(Aunt Alex from lonelygirl15 side by side with photos of Lynda Carter from IMDB.com)

~ QtheC

Sunday, March 11, 2007

☺ Overheard at Restaurant D'Ordre

*A CIA Director, a regenerative medical specialist, a Rabbi, and Abraham Lincoln walk into an exclusive restaurant*

maître d' (pen poised above reservations book) : Good evening. Reservations for?

CIA Director: Tau Phi, Lamda Sigma, and Theta Eta...

maître d' (clearly impressed) : Yes of course! Please follow Tutankhamen to your table.

*the four start forward, but the maître d' holds a hand out blocking Abraham Lincoln*

maître d' : Excuse me sir, you are not on the list.

Lincoln (shocked) : What do you mean? I'm Abraham Lincoln. Put me on the list.

maître d' : I'm very sorry, but that's not how it works.

Lincoln (standing tall) : Do you not recognize me, sir?

maître d' : Um, 'fraid not. *turning to bartender* Osiris, do you know this gentleman?

bartender (midwest accent) : no speak english. And my name's Joel.

Lincoln (growing red) : Well, I never. My face is on Mount Rushmore, for goodness sake!

*Mark Twain enters arm in arm with Marilyn Monroe*

maître d' : Ah! Mu Tau and Mu Mu, welcome, welcome.

Lincoln (aghast) : Mu Tau, Mu Mu? Who are they?

maître d' : I'm not really sure who the old geezer is, but Ms. Monroe was the first Playboy centerfold.

Lincoln : Nevermind. Listen, my picture is on the five dollar bill, for goodness sake!

maître d' (unimpressed) : If you had said the one dollar bill, maybe. It has our Pyramid on the back you know.

Lincoln : Pyramid? What is this nonsense? Forget it, just put me down as Delta ...

maître d' (finally interested) : Yes?

Lincoln : Um, ... Delta ...

maître d' (raising pen) : and?

Lincoln (shrugs) : Delta?

maître d' (disappointed) : Sorry, the Tri-Delt Sorority table is already occupied.

*Soriety girls wave and giggle from nearby booth*

Lincoln : Okay, how about Alpha Lamda?

maître d' : Really sir, now you're just guessing.

*Anna Nicole Smith enters, looking a bit flustered*

Lincoln (apologetic) : Anna, this insolent character will not seat me, my dear. We will have to go somewhere else.

Anna Nicole (pouty) : Oh Abe, are you sure? *turns to maître d'*

maître d' (surprised, to Lincoln) : Wait! You are with Ms. Smith? Well, why didn't you say so?

Anna Nicole (smiles) : He's not made of money, but money's made of him!

Lincoln (kissing Anna's cheek) : Dear Anna, so clever.

Anna Nicole (blushes) : I just love older men, so attentive.

maître d' : Tutankhamen, the Chi Chi Chi reservation has arrived. Hurry please!

maître d' : Mr. Lincoln, my apologies. I loved you on the penny, by the way. Would you prefer a booth or a table?

Lincoln (sighs, then winking) : Table of course. I'm not partial to Booths.

maître d' (doesn't get it) : Hahaha! Indeed. ... Tutankhamen!

Lincoln (to waiter) : Tutankhamen, now that's an unusual name.

Waiter (confidentially) : Actually, that's just what they call me here. My real name's Nathan.

~ QtheC

Aunt Alex

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