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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

☺ The Order faction ... No, not THAT Order

(night shot, long pan zooming toward a large building of neoclassical design, brightly lit from within, sound blend from crickets outside to rock music, laughing partying inside...)

(camera continues through large greek columns into a brightly lit party, happy, wild-eyed college students in togas greeting the camera as a "Billy! Dude!" as it passes through)

(camera descends stairs to door, Linda and Dillon waiting there in fake-fur robes)

Billy : B.S.U. Senior, High Chipmunk
Linda : B.S.U. Senior, First Koala
Dillon : B.S.U. Junior, Marmoset-at-arms

Billy (smiling, eager) : Did you get them?

Linda (grinning, handing Billy a brown furry robe) : Just like we planned.

Dillon (proudly) : No one hurt, but you should have seen their faces!

Linda (patting Dillon's arm) : Our monkey boy here has certainly earned his bananas tonight.

Dillon (pretends to be offended) : That's Marmoset-at-arms, and you know it!

Billy (chuckling) : I remember when I was grabbed. Oh, I can't wait to see my boy Jonas sweating it out. Here, give me my mask.

Linda (handing Billy his chipmunk mask) : Here ya go, honey, um I mean, High Chipmunk!

Billy (wearing mask, bows to Linda formally) : First Koala.

Dillion (excited, moves toward door handle) : This is way more fun than the bowling league...

Linda (nodding, agreeing) : Don't remind me. I can't believe how much time we all spent at that Bowling alley bar.

(camera, still seeing through Billy's eyes, but with edges of view somewhat truncated by the eye-holes of a mask, enters a dimly lit room... there are three chairs in the middle with three people sitting on them wearing hoods, surrounded by a dozen or so furry robed figures wearing animal masks)

Dillon (loudly, officially) : All rise! The Ceremony is about to begin!

(the robed figures turn toward each other shrugging, since they are already all standing)

Dillon (deep, scary voice) : Beware the Ides of March, for here there be Beasts!

(everyone growls and makes pawing gestures at the air, Dillon steps back, and Billy and Linda step forward toward the prisoners, removing the hoods from their heads)

Billy (sniffing at Jonas, Daniel, and Bree in their chairs) : Ah yes, these are fresh! Excellent.

Daniel (groggy) : What the...?

Bree (appears cross-eyed, giddy) : Awwww, a chipmunk!

Jonas (frightened, turns to Bree and Daniel) : Is this what the Order does to you?!

Bree (giggling uncontrollably) : I want a costume!

Billy (sternly, stands up straight) : Silence, furless ones! You are here for the Ceremony!

Daniel (still out of it, looking around) : Wha? Where's the spin art?

Jonas : The Ceremony! Oh no. Bree, Daniel snap out of it. We have to get out of here!

Linda (pushing Jonas' shoulders down so he sits back into his chair) : What's this, a little shy are we? Here, let me help you with these buttons.

Jonas (confused) : What is this? Linda?? You're in the Order?

Linda (shushing him) : Of course furless one. But it's First Koala here.

Daniel (waking up) : I smell beer and pizza.

Billy (nodding to Daniel) : Yes, there will be feasting later, but first... Marmoset! Bring the vestments!

(Dillon steps forward with furry robes and masks)

Bree (extends her hands eagerly) : Oh, I want to be the Bunny!

Linda (turning to Bree) : That is not for you to decide, furless female.

Jonas (smirking now, muttering) : Oh, I am so going to get you guys back for this...

Billy (loud again, encouraging Bree to stand, placing furry robe on her shoulders) : I hereby dub thee ... Baby Bunny!

(all robed figures cheer and make hooting animal noises, Bree happily accepts the bunny mask and puts it on)

Daniel (getting worried) : What kind of Order is this? You people aren't those "furries" I have heard about are you?

Linda (sternly) : Sex is not allowed while wearing the vestments (then smiling at Billy) ... Well, usually.

Bree (agreeing) : I don't want to sin... (smirking) Well, maybe just a little.

Billy (hands robes and mask to Daniel) : Order of the Kappa Omega Forest! Greet the Bear Cub!

(all growl and several start giving high-fives to Daniel as he puts on his new robe)

Jonas (looking suspiciously at the remaining mask) : Billy, that better not be what I think it is.

Billy (not breaking character) : Address me as High Chipmunk, nave... (then to audience) Hear me beasts, fair and foul, and greet your new brother, Skippy Squirrel!

Jonas (chagrinned, accepting squirrel mask) : Great, just great.

Billy (to Jonas, familiar now) : It's a proud line... and you are a legacy, so we had no choice. How do you think I got stuck as a stupid chipmunk for four years?

Dillon : This meeting of the Order of the Forest is now at an end. Proceed to the feasting!

Danielbeast : This is way better than that other Order...

(all cheer as ceremony ends, de-masking and drinking begins)

Jonas (to Dillon) : Wow, you really had me going there. But none of us have even applied to B.S.U.

Dillon : Oh, that's okay, none of us attend classes anyway. We're just here to party!

Jonas (smiling to Dillon, admiring Linda) : Yeah, like the old days...

Dillon : Right, but with fun fur! So, who's the young bunny? (growls playfully in Bree's direction)

Daniel (approaching Linda, charming, as camera fades) : So, we are both bears... you know, I've been known as 'the beast' for quite awhile now...

~ QtheC


  1. Genius QtheC! You are Spike to modelmotion's Giles....er I think that makes me Xander...

  2. Marmoset-at-arms - oh boy - i am cracking up


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