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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

☺ Product Placement at Auntie Alex's

*Aunt Alex, reclining on sofa in white Egyptian robes, two deeply tanned male slaves fanning her with large palms, a third awaits her instructions*

Alex (whimsically, adjusting her many gold bracelets): Caleb, bring me some nibbly's won't you? I feel like nibbling.

Caleb (quietly): Yes, madam, right away.

*very soon, Caleb returns with a large silver tray bearing an array of small boxed treats*

Caleb: Shall I open the Nice Shaker Flower Yums™, or would you prefer some Ball Breaker Power Plums™ ?

Alex (suddenly furious): What? Have we no Ice Breaker Sour Gums™ ?

Caleb (eyes downcast): I'm sorry, Kemosabe, but thy Nephew has absconded with thy Sour Gums. Perhaps these Sliced Quaker Yogurt Mums™ would serve until more Gums may be obtained?

Alex (ferocious, then poetic): No! I want my Sour Gums™ ! Aunt I am.
Not Yums or Plums, or even Mums!
Not waffles, pumpkins, or Gummy Dums!
I want my Ice Breaker Sour Gums™ !
I want them, want them, Aunt I am,
I want to eat them, with some lamb!
I want to chew those little Gums,
and I'll be blue until they comes...

Oh give me what I want, right now!
For woe the evil Order Aunt,
deprived of her favored Sucanat!
And woe the greater part tenfold,
for those who fail her in this mood.
Come Caleb, now, and give us food.

Caleb (soothingly): Well spoken madam, free verse for Sugar Free Gums. *holding box toward camera* In a handy pocket sized package, I might add. Very apt, very creative. And so many exclamations, just wonderful. I can see that Harvard poetry minor is really paying off! So then, just a few Ball Breakers™ and a martini?

Alex (sighing): Yes, Caleb, that will have to do. Make that two martinis, with umbrellas. Lucy should be arriving at noon, and I want her to feel at home. That meeping b***h isn't going to be happy when she finds out Jonas and Daniel left before Bree came back.

Caleb (nodding, worried): Of course, madam, extra vodka it is. *starts to hold up vodka bottle toward camera, but then thinks better of it, muttering* Perhaps next video.

~ QtheC

1 comment:

  1. Ball Breakers™ and a martini.........lol......that was funny.


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